I woke up in the grey of a sunday morning alone, I slipped out of my bed. I smiled, a sleepy face with a docile smile. You know, kita belum ketemu (not even skype) but we messaged every each day. Sometimes he left a kiss, sometimes a small one, sometimes none. I loved him in my own psychotic way (and I don't even know what psychotic way means in this term).
And I'm here not to telling all the people that I miss him (Obviously).
So, a few weeks ago I asked him a movie that I should watch this week. And he recommend me a few Andrei Tarkovsky movies. "One of the greatest film master of all the times" he said.
I remember the first time I sat watched Andrei Tarkovsky, I-don't-get-what-it-is (feel free to judge me). So, I started with "Mirror", "Solaris" and "Stalker". I even have misunderstanding with him, as I said I don't get the film, the plot was like jump from scene to scene very confusing. And he was like "That's why I prefer to let you go to the movie theater instead of-uh".
Ok, enough rambling. Now, I'm completely agree with what Wikipedia quote.
"Tarkovsky for me is the greatest (director), the one who invented a new language, true to the nature of film, as it captures life as a reflection, life as a dream".
"I don’t know… I think I’d like to say only that they should learn to be alone and try to spend as much time as possible by themselves. I think one of the faults of young people today is that they try to come together around events that are noisy, almost aggressive at times. This desire to be together in order to not feel alone is an unfortunate symptom, in my opinion. Every person needs to learn from childhood how to spend time with oneself. That doesn’t mean he should be lonely, but that he shouldn’t grow bored with himself because people who grow bored in their own company seem to me in danger, from a self-esteem point of view."
Sebelumnya gue aktif banget ngirim-ngirimin lagu buat dia. Dia suka dan bahasnya sampe besok-besoknya. Dan komentar terlucunya adalah "I feel like 10 years back when listen to it".
"And you were way into me than I was into you, and it made me feel so special" I said. *naive*
Dan inilah ujung dari semua ke-naif-an gue terhadap semuanya. He made it. I love Andrei Tarkovsky films. Healthy solitude and loneliness is one Tarkovsky is particularly interested in, teaches his viewers to watch, listen, and wait. I watched them online here.
Prove me wrong. The movie take your breath away. Mixed from noir, sephia and colour. It as the most magical night of my life. And I'm not sure life will ever live up to those moments. It was one of those nights you wish you could pause and relive forever.
Time did not exist.
I'm now following Tarkovsky board in pinterest. Have some beautiful capture of the scene. Uw.
I said nothing the night after, I was feeling so much at once. Quite frankly, I'm drained and tired of this blog, good night! Have a directors chair in your dream.
